I have a nine month old. He likes sticking things in his mouth. But not all things are created equally. In particular, there are three things that he just can't get enough of.
1. Frank's Red Hot Slammin' Sriracha
"Ummm.... is that stuff safe?" Is probably going to be the running theme of this post.
I'm not a fan of the "original" Frank's Red Hot Sauce (heresy, I know), but I picked up a bottle of the "Slammin' Sriracha" variety to give it a try and boy, does my son ever love it. It's my culinary trump card when I want this kid to eat something.
In particular, the kid needs iron. But I'm not cooking him steaks all day, and one of our breakfast staples around here is eggs. My kid does not like eggs. Well, he likes mashing them to mush, but not putting them in his mouth.
Until I add the sriracha. Then he'll gobble down everything with the sauce on it and look around for more with a crazed look in his eyes. I've started adding it to chicken and noodles, pasta sauce, pickles, tuna and rice, you name it. I'll be adding it to his oatmeal soon. Putting hot sauce in his food transforms anything from "meh," to "must have."
2. Blue Buffalo Brand Cat Food
Given how expensive this stuff is, I'd say my baby is eating better than any of us.
My cats love this stuff. The problem is, they aren't the only one. Whenever we put the kid down, he immediately scuttles toward the nearest cat food bowl. There is no subtlety. There is no hesitation. As soon as he's in a position to hunt for cat food, that's what's happening.
It's been a problem. We moved the cat food to another room. Kid learned to navigate to the bedroom to find it. We put up barriers. Kid pushed and pulled and yanked until he could move barriers aside. We put the food up off the floor, and he started to learn to walk and climb.
Our son's entire growth and development is being facilitated toward his obsession with eating as much cat food as possible. The cat food bowls are now in two places: One on top of a bookshelf and one on top of the refrigerator. I fully expect him to learn to fly by the end of the week.
3. Bath Water (soap optional)
A quick Google image search reveals my bathtub (not pictured) is the most boring one of all time.
Our kid loves the bath. I thought at first he loved splashing around and playing with his toys, but I watched closely and discovered how wrong I am. When in the tub, his hands, toys, washcloth, whatever - are all just vehicles used to move bath water from in the tub to into his mouth.
Washcloths seem to be a favorite, because they move water to his mouth so much more effectively than anything else.
Someday I'm going to publish my Google search history. When that happens, it's going to be filled with phrases like "how much soap is safe to eat?" and "is bath water safe?"
Parenting is strange.